[Intro – soft piano, distant]
February…
I remember everything…
Even the parts I wish I didn’t…
[Verse 1 – quiet, fragile]
I learned to read a room before I learned my name
Hold my breath just to avoid the pain
Truth felt dangerous on my tongue
So I swallowed it when I was young
Same house… different lives
Same last name… different sides
I tried to speak but got shut down
So I disappeared without a sound
[Pre-Chorus – building emotion]
I carried weight that wasn’t mine
Just to keep the peace alive
[Chorus – emotional, breaking]
And I’m still here… but I don’t feel whole
There’s an empty space inside my soul
We were two… now I’m just one
Trying to live when half is gone
I’d give anything just to rewind
To hear your voice one more time
But I’m still breathing through the pain
Carrying both our names
[Verse 2 – deeper, more personal]
They called you golden, I took the fall
I learned to feel like nothing at all
But you were the one who knew me best
The only place I ever felt rest
And when that call came through that day
Everything I was just fell away
I didn’t cry—I held them tight
While my whole world died inside
[Pre-Chorus – heavier]
I became the strength I didn’t have
Just to hold together what we had
[Chorus – bigger, more desperate]
And I’m still here… but I don’t feel whole
There’s a missing half I can’t control
We were one… we were real
Now I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel
I’d give anything just to go back
To stop the moment where it cracked
But I’m still breathing through the pain
Carrying both our names
[Bridge – stripped, vulnerable]
I hate that I couldn’t save you
Hate that I couldn’t break through
I replay every single sign
Like somehow I could change that time
And I know they say it’s not my fault
But that don’t stop the guilt I hold
When you’re a twin… it’s not goodbye
It’s learning how to live and die
At the same time
[Breakdown – emotional, raw]
WHY AM I HERE… AND YOU’RE NOT
WHY DID I LIVE… WHEN YOU STOPPED
[Verse 3 – soft, light emerging]
But then you came and you stayed with me
Saw a version I couldn’t see
You didn’t run when I fell apart
You held the pieces of my heart
Rachael… you gave me light
When all I knew was how to fight
You showed me I could still be
More than what happened to me
[Final Chorus – soaring, cathartic]
And I’m still here… learning to be whole
With the empty space inside my soul
I carry you in everything
Every word I write, every song I sing
I can’t go back… but I can choose
To live a life that honors you
So I’ll keep breathing through the pain
Carrying both our names
[Outro – soft, fading]
Half of me is gone…
But the other half…
Is still…
Breathing.